It’s been seven years since The Mask of Zorro was released, thus making The Legend of Zorro an immediate violator of my sequel rule. Just to refresh, the rule says that any sequel that is made more than five years after its original (or previous sequel) is destined for disaster.… Continue reading
The Gospel clearly has one goal in mind: to get the world interested in gospel music. That’s actually an admirable goal, especially in these times of foul-mouthed rap music that celebrates murder, prostitutes, and drugs. Even the film points that out. The surrounding story behind this goal is a convoluted… Continue reading
Urine? Check. Feces? Check. Vomit? Check. Semen? Check. Mucus? Check. Snot? Check. All of the primary bodily fluids are covered in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, and I have a strong feeling that the screenwriters and director Mike Bigelow had a similar list handy at all times during the production. European… Continue reading
The days of the “good” bad movie are long over, and Stealth serves as a powerful punch to the stomach to remind us of that. This is a film that is decked out with all the trimmings and should have enshrined itself as an eternal laugher for college kids who… Continue reading
Nora Ephron must be one of the few paying attention. I have this gut suspicion that she is one of the only people in Hollywood who thinks that old television shows getting the big screen treatment has outstayed its welcome. Her solution? It’s not to stop (she’d be banished for… Continue reading
Skateboarding is one of those sports that looks much easier than it actually is. As someone who once tried (and failed) to learn the art of balancing one’s self on a piece of wood with wheels, I am here to say that things are significantly tougher than they seem. The… Continue reading
The trailers for Hitch will no doubt leave some men thinking “great, another movie where every woman will be saying ‘now why can’t I get a guy like that!?’” Sometimes I think it’s a vast Hollywood conspiracy, where the common man just doesn’t measure up. Women love to be romanced,… Continue reading
Even the tagline to Are We There Yet? is wrong. Now that may be a first. Throughout the film we are constantly reminded that Nick and the woman he hopes to date by driving her kids from Portland to Vancouver, Suzanne, are not boyfriend and girlfriend. Consider this error foreshadowing… Continue reading
50 First Dates opened this past Valentine’s Day weekend to no competition, and that should benefit its box office aspirations handily. Those who have seen the endless previews and Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore’s mugs on every show that network TV has to offer will no doubt be expecting another… Continue reading
Watching the wheels come off of S.W.A.T. is quite a sight. The film starts off as an above-average action spectacular about the S.W.A.T. teams of Los Angeles. Before long, we are asked to take seriously one of the most bizarre plot “twists” of recent memory. It’s all nosedive from there.… Continue reading