Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Fifty Shades of Grey may be the first film in history made specifically for the purposes of hate-watching. Adapted from E.L. James’s unbelievably popular novel (at its height it sold two copies every second), it can be said in absolute terms that whatever lusting and fantasizing readers of the book … Continue reading

The Other Woman (2014)

The Other Woman (2014)

The Other Woman plays like a movie that was made by people that actively hate the script. It is a grotesque, shrill, never-ending effort that always finds a way to sink a little lower just when you’re positive there’s no way it can. Not only is it wholly damaging in its … Continue reading

Tammy (2014)

Tammy (2014)

Tammy is exactly what happens when the duo responsible for a breakout performance are given carte blanche control over a vanity project. It’s a sad, angry excuse for a comedy that contains exactly one chuckle and infinitely more cringing. That it couldn’t even rise above the basement-low bar set by … Continue reading

Identity Thief (2013)

Identity Thief (2013)

“I’ve had a real shitty morning and your face looks like a dog’s asshole.” Free of charge, I have supplied you with the funniest piece of dialogue from Identity Thief. It should be mentioned that this is a throwaway line from Robert Patrick that would probably otherwise go unnoticed, but … Continue reading

The Bounty Hunter (2010)

The Bounty Hunter (2010)

The Bounty Hunter is an abominable waste of time. Here we have a film with two stars that have no chemistry, no laughs, no romance, and boring “action” sequences. Coming up with justification for its existence is nearly impossible. The premise would seem to offer up some promising black comedy … Continue reading

Turistas (2006)

Turistas (2006)

Go ahead and yawn. Turistas is just another disposable piece of pseudo-exploitation trash that has arrived in the wake of the success of Hostel, a film that, while flawed, at least had the benefit of some psychological plausibility. Nightmares of isolation and unendurable pain are the calling card of this … Continue reading